Thank you! Thank you!

Autumn is the beginning of the death cycle of the seasons and invariably I feel that embracing, melancholic sense of change and loss as the air turns cooler and the intensity of the sunlight begins to dim.   Recent life events such as serious accidents, illness and watching people I love confront the end of their lives seem to fit very well into this chilly backdrop of brittle leaves.  Naturally, this has been a bit uncomfortable although, it has also given me a chance to reflect more deeply on the frailty of the human body, the precariousness of each moment and how little control we have.  I suppose we survive our daily lives by not thinking constantly about these things, but at the moment, I feel confronted with the reality of the vulnerability of the body and the fact that is it will all pass away one day.  I realize that these kinds of considerations are not something to solve or fix. There is nothing for me to do except make a choice on how to deal with them in relation to others and myself.

 

D.T Suzuki

I recently began reading the John Cage biography Where the Heart Beats by Kay Larson. It’s a great book about the life and career of American avant –garde composer John Cage, his relationship with Zen Buddhism and the deep impact the teaching had on his life and work.   One of Cage’s teachers was D.T Suzuki, a Japanese author who was instrumental in spreading interest in Zen in the West.  There is a photograph in the middle of the book of a meeting of Cage with Suzuki and the caption recounts Suzuki’s last words when he died in 1966, which were, “Don’t worry. Thank you! Thank you!”  

It is not easy saying "thank you" in the face of change loss and death, but it is a perspective on life that I would like to cultivate, so for now, I say, thank you to autumn and the harsh beauty it blows through my heart.